trust

thought about sharing this.

in yahoo answers,

there was this two question posted

that caught my attention

How can I learn to trust people?

I have a real issue with trusting people, and I'm not too sure if I'm doing the right thing. I want to trust people, but not be used as a doormat, but i also wanna limit the trust without looking like a jerk. it seems either one of those two happens.I have reasons not to trust people. a group of my old friends made the whole school hate me. my ex girlfriend cheated on me twice and always lied to me, her friends always spread rumours about me, and my best friend i had for 6 years turned into a jerk and backstabbed me because he changed and im not like him. most of my friends either backdtabbed me, or used me. do i have a reason not to trust people???I want to be close with people, but i cant help not trusting, no matter who it is. because of that, i look like a jerk. im not mean, i just wanna be assertive. how can i be more trusting???

The best answer:

That looks like a difficult situation. You have my sympathy.I know the feeling of not being able to trust people, and it's something that I am working on as well. I am still attempting to learn the ins and outs of working with others, so I might suggest something that is totally ludicrous. However, this is what I've found.

Understand that others are not what make you or break you. Relationships are very important, but they are not what define you as a person. You need not invest all of who you are in a relationship with another. No matter what other people do to you, you are still a valuable human being. Their backstabbing only reflects badly on them.

Give relationships (of any sort) time. It's good to not trust acquaintances too much right off the bat. Wait a bit. Don't invest too much of your ego in the opinion of the other until you are sure that they are worthy of trust. While you may still run across the occasional Transforming Jerk, the majority will be weeded out if you wait long enough. If the relationship was meant to be, it will come about.

Find something to center yourself. I use my religion, consciously deciding to value the opinion of God over that of those around me. I've heard that meditation works as well. Find something that you can make more important to you than the opinion of those around you.

good answer don't you think?

ok what if you need someone to trust you?

read on.

How can I make someone trust me?

I've been with my bofriend for 4mths, we have a great time together & both love eachother very much...but he has a trust thing from his past relationships!!!!I know that we all bring bits of past relationships in2 new ones but trust is a big part of a new relationship, although it takes time to trust someone!!!I just need help from anyone who has had similer problems & how did u deal with them.....there are no other problems other than the trust thing!!Is this something that i've just got to accept untill he begins to trust me?????P.s....I've neva done anything 2 make him distrust me & i've always reasured him on things too.

the best answer

I know where you're coming from. I used to date a girl with trust issues. She was fine going into the relationship, but once she was in the relationship she started to have problems. She started looking at every little thing as a sign of betrayal. Talk about frustrating.You have to accept that he may never trust you. It's a sad thing to have to admit, but unless you accept this possibility you'll be leaving yourself vulnerable to getting truly hurt. Trust me on this. I speak from experience.

There is, unfortunately, no way to make someone trust you. Trust is a decision. However, you can do some little things that help him out.For starters, it's easier to trust someone who trusts you. So, you need to let him know that you trust him. This means that you make yourself vulnerable to getting hurt, but it also makes you more trustworthy if he knows that you have something to lose.

You also need to be extra careful about doing what you say you will do, and not contradicting yourself. He's going to be watching you for signs that you are dishonest. Any little thing you do or say might be taken as a sign that you can't be trusted. So, pay extra attention to the little things.

Finally, you need to make sure you keep communicating. And you need to keep him communicating, too. It's when the communication breaks down that the lack of trust really kills you. As long as you talk about your problems, you should be able to work through your trust issues.

On a side note, it might be beneficial for him, if he has serious trust issues, to seek the help of a counselor. Sometimes these issues require a lot of work to overcome.

I wish you the best.

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“Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”