well.. what can i say? i dun even know if my family loves me; let alone my mum. she is the main reason why i find love outside the family, and she knows it well. but pls, dun treat ur child like she's not urs. do u knw hw much i envy other kid's mums.. they r so nice to their daughters/son. saying i love u, even when they are already 20, caring ever single drip for their kids, lecturing them and trying to get their children life's straight. it may seem to be annoyance, but kids u guys are damn lucky.
i dunno how it feels to be loved in a family, i dunno how it sisterly love feels, i dunno whats advices from parents.. all i know is slap, whack, shout scold, ignore.
i only knew wat's mum love when i met kelvin's mum. i miss her, and yes, no matter how much i deny it, i do miss him too. we went through alot together, i learnt alot from her. how can i ever forget it? precious memories, till death they stay with me. but i guess, there can be no turn back when the doors shut at ur face.
ask me what i do at home? nothing. sit in front of the com, chat! that's life for me now. stopped eating properly, 1 meal a day is all i take. i dun open my mouth at all, only when its time to pop food into the mouth, or to laugh at those who made jokes to me online. yes, no life. what to do? used to it ready.
pray? pray for a good life, a good family? i did, and i guess god must be busy. dun tell me i havent been praying hard enough i know if its sincere, i really am sincere. i guess, if u try so hard to get something u really want and u dun get it in the end, u just lose hope. thats wat has happened currently.
sigh, i guess its just that i have been bottling up all my emotions and this is the time it all burst. so yea, FUCK my family. fuck it.
just a word to all. love ur parents like there's no tomorrow.
u guys are lucky
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